![]() ![]() I don't want that insecurity at this time in my life, But I would like to feel something." I know that the excitement was bound up with insecurity, with not knowing if he would call or not. So what is it I miss? I want to feel some of the intensity of the beginning, the butterflies in the stomach, the feeling of anticipation. We have a nice place, enough money, three great kids. "We get along really well Jake is warm and reliable, and even though he's not the type to gush, I feel cozy with him. She wants the comfort of familiarity, but misses the edge of the unknown. Time and again they tell me that, though, they treasure the stability, security and predictability of a committed relationship, they miss the excitement, novelty and mystery that eroticism thrives on. Next they'll move into describing relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. They tend to go something like this: "We love each other very much, but we have no sex." Plenty has changed in my 20 years of private practice, but not my patients opening lines. As a couples therapist in New York, I've seen young and old, married or not and gay, bi and straight, with passports from all over the world. ![]()
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